I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
