i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
