I hope mine doesn't look like that
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
