there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
