if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
