happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
