me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Someone signed my nipple.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
