The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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