Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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