The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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