I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I need to stop coming to work sober
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
