Cold hands, warm shart.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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