why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
