Cold hands, warm shart.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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