Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
