ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
