Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I have fence marks all over my body
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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