What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
my phone needs a breathalizer
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
