just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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