he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
