What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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