apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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