I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Holy sore nipples Batman
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
