It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
