he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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