i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize