I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
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