I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
