There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Houston, we have a squirter
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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