you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
