I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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