anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
