just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
