So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Randomize
