oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
