Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
