it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
