That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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