butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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