clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
