its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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