He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
