I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
