4 words: hood of his car
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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