He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
There's always time for handjobs
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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