Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
