I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
