I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
