fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Randomize
