I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
