he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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